Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
