No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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