What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
