dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
