Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
barbara walters just said penis...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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