Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
