Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fuck appropriateness.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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