i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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