I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
