I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
