I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
