Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How naked do you want me to be?
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