he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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