I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
