I faked an abortion last night.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
