wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
