I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and she was petting her beer can
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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