Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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