Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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