I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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