do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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