u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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