i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
