Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Vodka?
Forever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
