just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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