Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
