All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
