Pappa wants mamma naked
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Farmville is her only friend.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
