Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
