508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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