Can Purell be used as lube?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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