ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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