omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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