I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
