I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize