It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
