well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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