i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
