Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
