drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
