I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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