she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize