Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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