I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
