I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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