I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
