If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize