Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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