Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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