I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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