OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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