Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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