Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
