hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you had me at cake vodka
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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