Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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