i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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