i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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