So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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