If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
