You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
