You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
