You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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