We won't sleep together?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
