what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
