Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This toilet bowl is my home.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
