did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My balls are so social today.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
